Stephen M. Hull

Passionate Code Slingers Wanted!
2/23/2016

It’s said there are ten billion unfilled tech jobs and about fifteen people to fill them. Something like that. In order to help you snag that perfect code ninja, that shivering, wet-eyed candidate straight out of state school stammering about video game design, here’s a bit of boilerplate you can use!

Here at CodeSiren, we don’t just make products: we live them. From the beginning of the day to the end, from birth to death, we stare with full-breasted pride and determination into that dawning future. It takes courage, true. A willingness to stare down the serpent of sloth, to lop its ugly head off and toss its body into the sea, but at CodeSiren we intend to do just that. We do battle against the forces of bugs, missed deadlines, bad design, and anything less than total, single-minded devotion to our customers. We fight that battle every day.

If that fills you with a lust for life, a restless need to grab a stranger by his stupid lapels and scream at him questions like ‘why don’t you just trust my disruption of the free fucking market!?’, and a breathless need to work for the next 120 hours without break, you’ll be a great fit for our cabal of shrieking devotees.

We want the kind of 20 year old who built his own surveillance satellite, as well as fully funded a company to launch it into space. We want someone who could — and wants to — kill and eat Elon Musk. We want the kind of person who believes mankind is redeemed through work alone, to whom no monetary compensation will compare with the purifying power of life transmuted into productivity, who is in thrall to the livid vision of their own bodies consumed with the fire of work on the pyre of human progress. We are the only meaning you need, and the only meaning there is. Forsake your family and follow CodeSiren.

REQUIREMENTS:

If you have to ask, you’ve already proven yourself unworthy

PERKS:

Redemption